autumn always makes me feel a certain way- when i was in school, it was so exciting to be starting new again and to begin another academic journey. and now that i'm not in school, i feel nostalgic for crisp walks to school, layering and trips to starbucks for tea to "get me through class." (at least ben is in school so i can live vicariously.)
this year feels different somehow. like - that i am now a real live adult. or something.
i've been thinking a lot about relationships, about being spiritual/mormon/believing in God and i've been feeling full of love for family and friends.
sometimes, although i feel full of love for my husband, family and friends - i feel helpless and i wish so much that i can somehow be the person that can say all the right things in times of trial. or do the right things. (and then i struggle with the notion that maybe that's inherently selfish - that i could be the one to solve everyone's problems, ha.)
i wish that somehow all people, not just the good ones or the people i love - wouldn't have to suffer. wouldn't have to go through things that i can't even bare to even think of that would be so trying and so emotionally and physically taxing. and such a struggle to even recover from.
for some reason, now that i am sitting down to write this post - i am not as eloquent as i would have liked. the end.
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